Survivor 32 Episode 14 “Not Going Down Without A Fight”

Well, that was strange.

Going into the final three, I was convinced that neither Michele nor Tai had a chance.  Even with Michele winning the power to remove a jury member (and choosing one of Aubry’s strongest allies, Neal), it didn’t seem like it would make much of a difference.

(That said, Neal totally changed my opinion of him when he verbally attacked Michele while leaving tribal council.  Way to be a bitter jerk, ice cream man.)

When the jurors asked their questions and gave their little speeches, they pretty much ignored Michele.  Nick took the time to lecture the final tree and essentially came across like a condescending idiot.  (I can’t believe I ever thought he was hot!)  Scot and Jason both spent most of their time attacking Tai.  The only questions directed at Michele were vaguely dismissive.  Listening to the jury, it was obvious that they all knew that Aubry was the strategic player and that they were all angry towards Tai.

And it seemed so obvious that Aubry would win.  I assumed that Michele would get Julia’s vote and I thought she might have a chance to capture Nick’s vote.  Otherwise, everyone was going to vote for Aubry.  The vote would be 5-2 and Aubrey would win.

And I was okay with that.  Admittedly, I have not been a big Aubry fan.  I found her to be whiny and I got sick of listening to her brag about how she was playing with “logic” when almost all of her votes seemed to be based on emotion.  She spent too much time complaining about not being popular and her vendetta against both Julia and Michele felt petty.  Aubry’s game seemed to largely be about getting revenge against the pretty girls that she resented when she was in high school.  But, even with all that taken into account, Aubry still played a good game.  She was a good strategist, she was a good competitor, and she was responsible for almost every blindside that happened over the course of the season.

Aubry was the obvious winner, right?

Wrong.

Michele won and, despite the fact that she was the member of the final three to whom I most related and that I wanted her to win, I was still shocked.  Michele not only won but she won in a blow-out.  Michele received 5 votes.  Aubry received only two — one from Joe and one from Debbie.  Even if Neal hadn’t been removed from the jury, it wouldn’t have made a difference.  Not even Cydney, who was often Aubry’s closest friend on the beach, voted for Aubry to win.

(I’m guessing that Cydney was angry that, in the end, Aubry decided to keep Tai and to try to get rid of her.  If Cydney had made it to the final three, I would have wanted her to win.  Hopefully, Cydney will return for another season.)

How did this happen?  Well, I think some of it was because, as Michele herself admitted, no one expected her to make it to the end.  She exceeded everyone’s expectations and it’s totally possible that everyone on the jury assumed that she must have played a better game than she actually did.  As Jeff put it, everyone loves an underdog.

But ultimately, I think it comes down to this being a bitter jury.  Out of the three final survivors, Michele was the most likable.  Tai had betrayed almost everyone on the jury.  Aubry often struggled to relate to people on a social level and, when she answered the jury’s questions, she came across as rather cold.  If Aubry had emphasized her own journey, going from crying during the first night on the beach to totally controlling the game, she might have done better.  Instead, she emphasized the “logic” of her game.  By refusing to make her final appeal a personal one, Aubry made a good case but not an exciting one.

Michele, meanwhile, had the type of personal connection with the jury that both Aubry and Tai lacked.  Michele may not have played the strongest game but she was probably the only one of the final three that the members of the jury would actually want to hang out with outside of the game.

In other words, never doubt the importance of a social game.  You may be a great strategist or a compelling competitor but if people don’t like you, why should they give you a million dollars?

Personally, I was hoping we’d get a little bit more insight into what the jury was thinking at the reunion show.  However, Australian singer Sia decided to crash the show so that she could give some money to Tai and a charity of Tai’s choice.  And Sia being Sia, she proceeded to go on and on and on and on.  As a result, we didn’t really have any time left to get insight into the jury.  So thank you, Sia, for making the the finale of Survivor all about you.

And consider this: Michele won the game and got a big cash prize.  Tai came in third and got absolutely no votes but still got money.  Meanwhile, Aubry got two votes, came in second, and got absolutely nothing.

(For that matter, neither did Cydney.  I mean, if we’re just going to give money to the Survivors for the hell of it, it seems like a rich celebrity could step up and help out Cydney and her mother.)

Well, that concludes this season of Survivor!  It was a pretty good one and don’t worry, Aubry fans!  I’m sure she’ll be back for an All-Stars season.  (For that matter, so will Tai.)  Apparently, the next season of Survivor will be Millennials vs Gen X.  I’m a millennial but I hate my generation so I’m torn about who I should support.

I will be back for both the next season of Survivor and the Amazing Race!  And, of course, starting in June, I will be covering Big Brother over at the Big Brother Blog!  Hope to see you there!

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Love you all!

Lisa Marie

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Survivor 32 Episode 13 “With Me Or Not With Me”

Well, so much for old Joe.

As we all saw at the end of tonight’s episode of Survivor, Joe was pulled from the game by medical.  I can’t say that I was particularly surprised.  About the only thing memorable about Joe was how terrible he started to look after the merge.  He lost far too much weight.  He started moving way too slowly.  Often times, he appeared to be on the verge of collapsing and his continually blank expression went from being comical to horrific.  Fortunately, for his game, he latched onto Debbie and then Aubrey and pretty much allowed them to do the thinking for him.

For weeks, Survivor has been hinting that Joe’s time was limited.  So, no, I was not shocked to see him evacuated from the game.

Still, it is sad that — as soon as Joe started to show some strength and actually managed to win the reward challenge — Joe ended up having to leave.  In fact, it’s pretty obvious that if Joe hadn’t pulled off that amazing victory, he probably wouldn’t have gotten ill.  I always cringe a bit whenever, after weeks of starvation, a group of survivors go on a reward that involves eating an elaborate feast.  “Cookies!”  Jeff Probst will announce, “Ice cream!  Beer!  Cheeseburgers!”  And the whole time Probst is listing all those foods, I’m thinking to myself, “No, their systems are not strong enough to handle suddenly having a gigantic meal after going for weeks with nothing.”  As soon as I saw Joe eating all of that beef, I knew it would come back to haunt him.

So did Cydney.  Some people on twitter are criticizing Cydney for not warning Joe to cut down on the beef.  Personally, I don’t think Cydney was under any obligation to tell Joe anything.  It amazes me that people can criticize Cydney for not saying anything while totally overlooking the fact that self-described “brilliant person” Aubrey was there as well.  Why give Aubrey a pass for not saying anything?  Why not hold her up to the same standard?

(That’s one thing that I’ve found very interesting about some Survivor fans this season: anything Aubrey does will be praised while anyone else doing the exact same thing will be criticized.)

Anyway, that huge meal did come back to haunt Joe and he was eventually medically evacuated.  Judging from the reactions as he left, it appears that Joe had a lot of good moments that the audience did not see.  Cydney even described Joe as being her surrogate “grandfather.”

Before Joe left, there was the normal amount of scheming going on.  That said, if they had gone to Tribal, I doubt any of that scheming would have amounted to anything.  Michele was clearly on the bottom of the alliance and she probably would have been voted out.  She deserves credit for trying to strike up an alliance with Tai but, just from watching how they greeted each other and talked after Aubrey returned from the reward, it’s obvious that Tai and Aubrey have a very strong bond.  Tai may have been upset that Aubrey didn’t tell him that they were going to vote out Jason but it’s doubtful that he would have ever actually betrayed her.  Cydney may have wanted to vote out Tai but Tai would have played his idol (if they had gone to Tribal, it would have been Tai’s last chance to do so) and Michele still would have ended up going home.

What I did find interesting was that, up until Joe was evacuated, Michele’s plan was to blindside Cydney.  Does no one realize that there’s no way that anyone can beat Aubrey in a final two situation?

And yes, I do think it will be a final two as opposed to a final three.  Next week’s finale is two hours long and there’s only four castaways left.  Traditionally, two people are voted out during the finale.  Next week, I’m sure we will see a final two and that’s okay with me.  To me, it always silly to have a final three when the third finalist usually gets zero votes and absolutely no attention from the jury.

I think all four of the finalists have a legitimate claim to the title of final survivor.  They’ve all played good games and I think they’re all capable of making an articulate case to the jury.  I still think that Aubrey would be unbeatable in a final two, though Tai might be able to keep it close.  If Michele and Cydney want to win, they better get rid of Aubrey and Tai.

We’ll see what happens!  Personally, I’m predicting an Aubrey and Michele final two with Aubrey winning the final jury vote.  I’m still working on my guess as to how many times Aubrey will specifically mention not being popular in high school during her final plea to the jury.

Until then,

Lisa Marie

 

Survivor 32 Episode 12 “Now Is The Time To Start Scheming”

Finally, it has happened!

Since this season started, Jason has been my least favorite guy on the beach.  Even the few attempts that the show made to humanize him — like when he talked about his children — tended to backfire and only make me dislike me more.  I would find myself thinking, “If you really want to help your kids, how about not acting like a totally misogynistic jackass on national television!?”  Jason has been rude, crude, and just amazingly annoying.  Whether he was talking down to the other castaways, bullying the members of his own tribe, bragging about his superiority, or proudly announcing his laziness, Jason always found new ways to be unlikable.

And, up until the end of the tonight’s episode, I was really worried that Jason was going to make it to the end.  Strategically, it would make sense to take someone like Jason to the end because, seriously, who couldn’t beat Jason?  With the exception of Scot and maybe Julia, who does Jason have on the jury?  Strategically, it would be a lot smarter to get rid of genuine threat, like Aubrey or Tai.  I was sure that Jason would be carried to the end.

But that didn’t happen.  Jason was finally voted out tonight.  There are now five castaways left and I can’t wait to see them start turning on each other.  All of the five left have their good traits but, at the same time, they’re all jerks as well.  After spending most of this season as everyone’s favorite player, Tai allowed his power to go to his head and we saw a really ugly side of him tonight.  Aubry has played a good game but, for all of her bragging about logic, it’s still hard not to feel that most of her decisions in the game are based on bitterness that she’s been carrying around since high school.  (There’s a reason why, for the most part, Aubry has been obsessed with getting the former members of the Beauty Tribe out of the game.)  Joe is a waste of space.  As I watched him in the reward challenge tonight, I found myself wondering if anyone would notice if he drowned.  As of right now, I’m hoping that the final two (and I do believe it will be a final two) will be made up of Cydney and Michele.  They deserve it and neither one of them annoys me.

What’s funny is that, up until the votes were read, I really thought that either Tai or Michele would go home.  It appeared as if everyone had forgotten about Jason.  That certainly seems to be what Jason was assuming, considering how laid back he was at Tribal.

If Tai had his way, it would have been Michele going to jury.  He told everyone in his alliance to vote for Michele.  Actually, he didn’t just tell them.  He ordered them and, as opposed to trying to make a case for voting her out, he just seemed to assume that everyone would automatically go along with him.  Tai even wasted his extra vote on Michele.  He assumed that he would at least get Aubry to vote with him, which would have led to a 3-3 tie between Jason and Michele.

But no.  Aubry did not join with him and neither did Cydney.  Jason voted for old man Joe.  Tai cast two votes for Michele.  Everyone else voted for Jason and, finally, the bounty hunter was sent to jury….

So, what’s the situation now?  Well, Tai has managed to upset a lot of people and he wasted one of his advantages.  Aubry did not vote with him, which will definitely alter their previously close alliance.  Michele survived and, judging from the previews, it looks like she might finally come after Aubry next week.

And what about Joe?  Rumor has it that one more castaway is going to be removed by the medical team before the end of the season.  Over the past few episodes, whenever we’ve seen Joe, he’s been struggling to catch his breath.  He looks terrible and I honestly was surprised that he didn’t drown tonight.  If someone is going to be removed by medical, it’ll be Joe and it’ll probably happen next week.

But for now, the important thing is that Jason is gone and we can all be happy about that.

Speaking of happy…

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

Lisa Marie

Survivor 32 Episode 11 “It’s a Me Game, Not a We Game”

I don’t know about everyone else but I was actually really sorry to see Julia get voted out at the end of last night’s episode of Survivor.  I liked Julia, even though I think she did make some mistakes along the way.  She allied herself with the wrong people and she was a bit too trusting, taking people at their word when they said they were going to vote a certain way at Tribal.  Julia tried to make big moves but Survivor is a game where you sometimes have to know when to lay low.

But really, the main reason that Julia got voted out is because Aubry is currently in charge of the game and Aubry looked at Julia and saw someone who would probably be more popular than her in high school.  So, Aubry got everyone to vote Julia out and then, after Tribal Council, she probably went back to the camp and whined about how she didn’t have any friends when she was a teenager.

Especially when compared to the past few weeks, last night really wasn’t that surprising of an episode of Survivor.  Jason and Julia tried to convince Cydney and Michele to join them in voting out Tai.  Personally, I think it would have made more sense, strategically, to blindside Tai and take a huge threat out of the game.  But, at the same time, I can understand why neither Cydney nor Michele felt that this was the right time to betray their alliance.  After all, if Tai played his idol, that would leave him in the game and Cydney and Michele on the outs with the majority of the remaining players.

And I can also understand why they voted for Julia instead of Jason.  Jason may be obnoxious but, if he does get to the final two, he’ll probably only get two votes from the jury — Scot and Julia.  Julia, on the other hand, could have actually made a case for herself.

That said, I don’t think that there’s anyone left in the game who can beat Aubry at this point.  And if the remaining players don’t hurry up and figure that out, they’re basically going to be handing Aubry a million dollar check.  Instead of going after Tai, Jason and Julia should have asked everyone at camp if they honestly thought that any of them had a chance of beating Aubry.  But Jason and Julia were so angry over Tai’s betrayal that they let it blind them to the fact that Aubry is a far bigger threat.

And soon, Julia was voted out and the game continues.

Here’s a few other random thoughts about last night’s episode:

• Jason is upset that he lost his idol but it was stupid of him to give it to Scot to begin with.
• Speaking of idols, Aubry should have told Tai to go ahead and play his idol.  At the very least, it would have gotten the last idol out of the game.  As well, Tai asking her what to do should show everyone that Aubry is pretty much in charge of the game right now.  If the remaining players don’t blindside Aubry soon, they’ll have no one to blame but themselves when she wins the game.
• I know Aubry has a lot of fans but I’m not one of them.  I think she’s playing a good game but personally, she reminds me of one of those ultra-judgmental girls who get offended if you wear a short skirt.
• It was sweet of Tai to try to apologize to Jason but also unnecessary.  Tai did what was best for his game and that’s what Survivor is all about.  Add to that, I’m sure Jason just saw the apologize as a sign of weakness because Jason is a jackass.
• Was anyone else worried that Joe was going to drop dead during last night’s episode?  He was not looking well.
• Scot’s death glare was creepy, scary, and actually rather pathetic.  It’s Survivor.  Blindsides happen.  Get over it and enjoy the Ponderosa.
• I’m glad that Mark survived!  I just worry that Jason’s going to do something to him while everyone else is asleep.

Until next time,

Lisa Marie

Survivor 32 Episode 10 “I’m Not Here To Make Good Friends”

I make no apologies for having been critical of Aubry in the past.  While I know that she has a legion of fans (especially on twitter, where they tend to be so worshipful of her that I worry that they’re going to form a cult), I’ve always found her to be a little bit annoying, with all of her  bragging about how she’s using “logic” to win the game and the constant whining.  “Why didn’t Neal give me his idol!?”  “Why didn’t I win the challenge!?”  “Why are all the boys talking to Julia?”  “Why didn’t I have any friends in high school!?” Blah blah blah…

But you know what?

Aubry totally owned last night’s episode of Survivor.  Not only did she emerge as a competition beast (she came very close to winning immunity) but she finally used some of that intelligence that she’s always bragging about and managed to do something that, last week, would have seemed impossible.  She convinced Tai to abandon his safe alliance and to work with her.  When she talked to him, she made the perfect pitch.  Instead of making a bunch of empty promises about how she would take him to the final three or trying to convince him that Scot, Jason, and Julia were plotting to stab him in the back (though, of course, they were), Aubry directed her pitch to who Tai is as a human being.  Aubry realized that the gentle and soft-spoken Tai would never be truly comfortable with two cavemen like Jason and Scot.

(Now, of course, I still think Aubry made a few mistakes last night.  She’s still obsessing on Julia who, whether you like her or not, is relatively harmless.  And, as inspiring as it was to watch her nearly beat Jason, she’s running the risk of emerging as such an obvious threat to win the game that nobody’s going to want to run the risk of having her anywhere near the final three.)

Watching last night’s episode, it was impossible not to cheer Aubry on.  Of course, it helped that she was competing against Jason and Scot, two of the most loathsome castaways in Survivor history.  As usual, Scot and Jason spent this episode talking down to everyone and boasting about how they were untouchable.  After an hour of listening to their BS, it was especially glorious to see the look on Scot’s face when he was voted out.

For the record, here’s how the votes went at Tribal:

Scot and Jason voted for Aubry.

Julia and Michele voted for Tai, in an attempt to force Tai to play his idol.  (Before Jeff read the votes, Julia turned around to Tai and said, “Play your idol.”  That was a dumb move on her part.)

After telling Julia that they would vote for Tai, Aubry and Cydney voted for Scot.  Joe also voted for Scot.  And finally, after telling Scot and Jason that he would vote for Aubry, Tai also voted for Scot.

The final vote: Scot — 4.  Tai — 2.  Aubry — 2.

Scot, who was holding Jason’s idol, smirked and asked Tai for his idol so that Scot could form a super idol.  Tai shook his head and Scot looked shocked!  It was wonderful!  What made it even better was that Scot left tribal council with Jason’s idol in his pocket.

(If Tai had allowed Scot to have his idol, Scot’s votes would have been tossed out and Aubry and Tai would be tied.  There would have been a second vote and Tai could very well have been voted out.  Even if Aubry hadn’t convinced him to switch alliances, it wouldn’t have made any strategic sense for Tai to sacrifice his idol to save Scot.)

So now, there’s only one idol left in the game and Tai has it.  Also, as a result of the reward challenge, Tai has an extra vote that he can cast at a future tribal council.  For now, Tai may very well be the most powerful person in the game but he has to be careful.  Next week, both Jason and Julia will be looking for revenge.  And, much like Aubry, he’s emerging as a real threat to win the game.  If I was trying to win this season of Survivor, I wouldn’t want either Aubry or Tai anywhere near the final three.

But for now, I’m happy that we got to watch one of the greatest tribal councils ever.  This is really shaping up to be a great season of Survivor!

Here’s hoping everyone had a great 4/20,

Lisa Marie

 

Bye Bye, Idiot Manchild.

Survivor 32 Episode 9 “It’s Psychological Warfare”

Hi everyone!

Up until the tribal council, last night’s episode of Survivor was dominated by bad strategy.  After Nick was blind-sided by the new all girls (and Joe) alliance, Jason and Scot reacted to suddenly finding themselves out of power by attempting to sabotage the camp.  They hid the machete.  They doused the fire.  They bragged about it.  They practically dared the remaining castaways to vote them out of the game.  Jason called it psychological warfare but really, it just came across as two grown men acting like petulant babies.

Tai, who should have been trying to distance himself from Jason and Scot, instead decided to stick with them.  He even woke up at night and doused the fire for a second time while everyone else was sleeping.  I hate to see Tai slipping over to the evil side.  It’s not where he belongs.

Julia, I think, made a mistake by being too quick to volunteer to work with Scott, Jason, and Tai at the reward challenge.  She revealed that she’s willing to work with both alliances.  However, Aubry made an even bigger mistake by getting so upset over Julia’s actions that she allowed herself to be distracted from what should have been her number one goal — taking out Scot and Jason.

From what I’ve seen on twitter, Aubry appears to have a lot of fans.  But, honestly, I think she is one of the most overrated players in the history of Survivor.  For someone who won’t stop bragging about how everything she does is “logical,” Aubry’s entire game has been dictated by her emotions and insecurities.

For instance, emotion (and jealousy, I imagine) led Aubry to decide that Julia should be the next target.  When Julia managed to win individual immunity, the smart move would have been to vote for Scot and Jason.  At the very least, voting for them would either flush out or (if it was a true blindside and the idol was not played) eliminate at least one of the immunity idols.  Instead, Aubry decided that the all-girls alliance needed to blindside Debbie, because Debbie didn’t share Aubry’s obsession with voting out Julia.  I don’t like Debbie but, strategically, it makes no sense to take out an ally when you’ve still got strong enemies in the game.

And when Aubry decided to go after Debbie, who did she decide to approach for her vote?  Julia!  If Aubry was truly the logical strategist that she claims to be, she would have known better than to confide in Julia.  But, since she was annoyed with Debbie, Aubry gave in to her emotions.  Julia, of course, ran off and told Scot, Jason, and Tai about Aubry’s plan.

If Joe had been smart, he would have taken this opportunity to separate himself from Debbie.  Instead, he stubbornly refused to vote for her, which is the sort of thing that his alliance will remember in the future.  (Then again, Joe has pretty much been Debbie’s puppet since this season began.)

And then, we had Tribal Council and, oh my God, it was a good one:

As I’ve made clear since this season of Survivor began, I cannot stand Jason or Scot.  Both of them are misogynistic bullies.  Jason looks like he has terrible hygiene and spends way too much time bragging about himself.  Scot, meanwhile, is an idiot man child.  If this season was a community theater production of Of Mice and Men, Scot would be asking everyone to tell him about the rabbits.

(Interestingly enough, when he was separated from Jason, Scot was tolerable.  But, after the merge reunited the two of them, Scot went back to his old tricks.)

But, let’s give credit where credit is due.  They may be hateful.  They may have dragged the otherwise adorable Tai into their evil orbit.  But, during last night’s tribal council, Jason and Scot put on a hell of a show.  Personally, I think that they made a strategic mistake by acting way too cocky about having both of the immunity idols (and, as a result, the super idol).  Neither one seems to understand that the people they are taunting are the same people who, if Jason and Scot make it to the final three, will be sitting on the jury and selecting the winner.  But, with all that in mind, Jason and Scot made last night’s tribal council a memorable one.  Last night’s tribal council was a classic and will be remembered long after this current season has ended.

After Scot, Jason, and Tai revealed that they had the immunity idols, Debbie was blind-sided and sent off to the jury.  On the one hand, Aubry and Cydney got what they wanted.  Debbie is gone,  But they also failed to get either Jason or Tai to use their idol and now, as a result of the super idol, it appears that the all-girls alliance will have to lose one more member before they can even think about going after either Jason or Scot.  If Julia continues to work with Jason and Scot, that means the the once all-powerful all-girls (and Joe) alliance will soon be outnumbered.

Now that the end is in sight, let’s take a look at who is still left in contention for the title of final survivor:

Stinky Jason — My biggest fear is that Jason will get taken to the finale because nobody thinks the jury will ever vote for him.  I desperately want to see the look on smug Jason’s face when he gets voted out.

Idiot Man Child Scot — My second biggest fear is that Scot will get taken to the finale because nobody thinks the jury will ever vote for him.  As of right now, Jason and Scot seem to competing for third place.

Adorable Tai — Let’s hope that Tai remains adorable and does not get permanently dragged over to the dark side,

Overrated Aubry — Aubry mostly seems to be using Survivor to deal with issues left over from not being popular in high school.  If she wins, she will be one of the more forgettable winners.

Crimebuster Joe — I really thought I’d like Joe but, for the most part, he’s just been a self-righteous bore.  It’ll be interesting to see if he can still function without Debbie around to tell him what to do.

Awesome Cydney — I like Cydney and I think she’s actually playing a pretty good game.  She’s been smart to distance herself from the former Brawn Tribe but I worry that she may be such a strong player that she’ll end up becoming everyone’s target.

Underrated Michele — Michele made a big move when she decided to vote to send Nick to jury.  That said, I get the feeling that Michele is flying under the radar and that can actually be a very good strategy.

Underestimated Julia — I actually want Julia to win.  I feel that, because she’s young and not ugly, she’s been underestimated by the other players.  (Just check out the way that Aubry was hating on her during last night’s episode.)  I know what it’s like to be underestimated.  Because I share Julia’s struggle, I hope she wins.

My ideal final three?  As of right now: Cydney, Michele, and Julia.

One thing that we do know for sure: Debbie will not win Survivor!

Agck! Debbie’s going to kill someone!

Next week, it looks like Aubry is going to try to pull Tai away from the dark side.  If she can succeed, I may change my opinion of her as a player.  Seriously, it was heart-breaking watching Tai fall under the bad influence of Scot and Jason.

We’ll see what happens next week!

Lisa Marie

Survivor 32 Episode 8 “The Jocks vs. The Pretty People”

Hi, everyone!

Remember how, last week, I said that I finally understood the appeal of Nick and that I thought he actually was kind of hot and how I was hoping he would go far?  Well, forget I said that because, during last night’s episode, Nick pretty much destroyed whatever good will I had built up towards him.

Seriously, I love confident men but there’s a difference between being confident and being an arrogant, cocky, preening jackass.  Last night, Nick revealed himself to be a jackass.  He strutted around camp.  He spent all of his time hanging out with fellow wannabe Alpha Males, Jason and Scot.  He mansplained all of his plans.  Stupidly, he interrogated Cydney after he saw her talking to a few members of the Brain Tribe and it never occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, he might end up alienating one of his key allies.

Would I have preferred to have seen someone like Jason or Scot voted out last night?  You bet I would.  It worries me a little that both Jason and Scot were given opportunities to talk about their lives back in the real world.  Jason talked about his autistic daughter and, as much as I dislike him, he did come across as being a genuinely loving father.  Scot talked about growing up poor.  As I listened to them talk, it occurred to me that this was the type of stuff that probably would have been edited out of the show if they had been said by anyone who wasn’t going to make it to the end.  Is someone planning on carrying Scot and Jason to the end?  It might be good strategy since most of the jury will probably hate Jason and feel that, as a former pro athlete, Scot already has enough money.  But it won’t be emotionally satisfying because I’ve been waiting this entire season to see Stinky Jason and his Idiot Man Child sidekick blindsided.

But , last night, it was Nick who was blind-sided and it was satisfying to watch.  Since the entire episode was basically just Nick acting like a jackass, it was fun to watch his attitude come back and bite him.

Nick was voted out as a result of the remaining girls forming an alliance.  That’s right, it’s another all-girls alliance!  All-girl alliances always start with a lot of fanfare but — with some very notable exceptions — they never seem to last more than an episode or two before they fall apart.  As a girl, I always cringe whenever an all-girl alliance forms because they always seem to collapse in ways that conform to every negative stereotype that you’ve ever heard about women trying to work together.  As for this season’s all-girl alliance, Cydney, Julie, and Michele are all strong players.  But Debbie is way too unstable and Aubry is too whiny.

(“Neal didn’t give me the idol, I didn’t have any friends in high school, boo hoo…”)

Along with Nick’s jackassery and the all-girls alliance, the other big development of last night’s episode was Tai emerging as a force to be reckoned with.  His immunity win was the stuff of legends.  Of course, at Tribal, he let slip that he knew about the super idol.  He tried to cover up by saying that he was only repeating rumors that he had heard.  We’ll have to wait and see if there’s any fallout from what Tai said.

My prediction for next week: All-girls alliance falls apart.  Either Debbie or Joe goes home.

Til then,

Lisa Marie

Survivor 32 Episode 7 “It’s Merge Time”

AGCK!

Seriously, can we talk about that thing on Neal’s back last night?  Or, actually, let’s not.  As soon as Neal took off his shirt and turned his back to the camera, I was pretty much watching the rest of last night’s episode through my fingers.  It looked like a small creature was growing out of Neal’s back.

Interestingly enough, though, it wasn’t that terrible thing on Neal’s back that got him medically evacuated from the game.  Instead, it was the hole in his knee, which, deceptively, looked a lot less dangerous.  However, the show’s doctor was concerned that the infection could lead to Neal losing his leg and, as a result, Neal was medically evacuated.

Aubry got upset when Neal left without giving her the idol.  I can understand her being upset but, at the same time, I’m not sure how Aubry thought that Neal could giver her the idol without everyone else on the beach noticing.  If Neal had given Aubry the idol, Aubry would have become everyone’s number one target.

Plus, Aubry’s boring.  That really doesn’t have anything to do with Neal keeping the idol but I always feel the need to point out that Aubry is one of the most boring people that I’ve ever seen on Survivor.  She’s like the girl in high school who never wore makeup and would judge you if you wore a short skirt.

Personally, I think a lot of what happened last night has to do with the fact that Neal stopped wearing his magic bowtie.  For the previous few episodes, Neal always wore his bowtie and, as a result, he found the idol and always managed to avoid being voted out.  But during last night’s episode, after the two tribes merged, Neal stopped wearing his bowtie.  Suddenly, everyone on the Brawn Tribe and Beauty Tribe realized that Neal had an idol, he lost immunity, and everyone started to plot against him.  If he hadn’t been medically evacuated, he probably would have been voted out at Tribal Council.

Poor Neal.  He was the only member of the Brain Tribe that I liked.  Hopefully, along with Caleb, he’ll get another chance to play.

“I’m not Neal. I’m actor Jeremy Davies.”

As for the rest of tonight’s episode, things were dominated by the merge.  As I pointed out last week, the best thing that could have happened would have been for the Brains and the Beauties to team up and take out the Brawns.  Instead, the Beauties and the Brawns formed an alliance to take out the Brains.

And, to a certain extent, I’m okay with that because, with the exception of Neal, the Brains are all pretty unlikable.  Debbie is the Blair Witch and, therefore, responsible for a lot of bad things.  Joe claims to be a former member of the FBI and, if that’s true, it doesn’t give me much confidence in the abilities of law enforcement.  And then there’s Aubry.  I’ve noticed that Aubry actually does have a small and somewhat deluded online fan club, mostly made up of people who didn’t get to go to their prom.  But, seriously, Aubry is so BORING!

But, as much as I dislike the Brain Tribe, I absolutely cannot stand the Brawn Tribe and it upsets me to see the Beauty Tribe teaming up with them.  Scot was actually bearable when he was separated from Jason but, after the merge, the idiot man-child was reunited with the stinky bounty hunter and …. Bleh!

What can you say about Jason?  He’s the type of guy who brags about pushing smart people into lockers.  Last night, both Nick and Michele mentioned that Jason is obnoxious that there’s no way he would be a threat to actually win the game.  That worried me because I really hate to think that Jason would even get a chance to make it to the finale.  If there’s anyone who deserves to be blind-sided, it’s Jason.

(And, of course, Jason has an idol.  With Neal gone, he and Tai are the only two people with an idol.)

I’m taking the idol with me!!!!

Post-merge, Nick has suddenly emerged as a power player, serving as the Beauty Ambassador to the Brawns and the Brains.  Obviously, I really underestimated Nick when this season began.  Meanwhile, everyone hates Jason and Debbie is coming on way too strong.

At the end of tonight’s episode, it looked like Nick and the Beauties were willing to team up with the Brawns but you know what?  Next week’s episode is called “The Jocks vs. The Beautiful People” so it doesn’t look like that alliance is going to last all that long.

We’ll see what happens!

Lisa Marie

Forget me not!

 

Survivor 32 Episode 6 “Play or Go Home”

When last night’s episode of Survivor began … Oh My God, I was so worried.  After last week’s elimination of Anna, I had kind of resigned myself to the prospect of watching one member of the Beauty Tribe get voted out after another.  I looked at the numbers and I naturally assumed that the Brain Tribe would dominate the rest of the game.

Bleh! I thought, do I really want to watch a season dominated by the ugliest and most boring people in the game?  Do I want to spend the next month listening to Debbie cackle about how she’s the ring leader, especially when it probably means that final Survivor will turn out to be some boring nonentity like Aubry?

For the record, I do like Neal and his bowties.  He’s the only member of the Brain Tribe who I would voluntarily hang out with because you can tell that he’s an eccentric and that a conversation with him would at least be interesting.  Otherwise, consider this about the so-called smartest people on the beach:

Debbie, I am convinced, is the Blair Witch.  Last night, she declared that Nick, the least attractive member of the old Beauty Tribe, was an adonis.  She also bragged about being a former model.  Debbie, sweetie — taking a selfie of yourself naked in a gas station bathroom is not the same thing as being a model.

Joe is a former FBI negotiator.  Joe is also a total and complete moron.  Every time Joe starts to speak, I find myself thankful that he is no longer with the FBI and, presumably, has no role to play in keeping America safe.  Last night, several heavy blocks literally fell on his head during the immunity challenge but he says that they didn’t hurt.  That’s the advantage of having an empty skull.

Aubry is a basket case.  In high school and college, we all had a boring and needy friend like Aubry and, for the most part, we were always glad when she either transferred to another school or ended up having to take a semester off to recover from having a nervous breakdown.

And then there’s Peter.  Peter is the incredibly arrogant ER doctor who never knows when to shut up.  Peter has been scheming and conniving since the game began and, even more stupidly, he insists on bragging about it at Tribal Council.  Peter has been an obvious target since day one but it hasn’t made any strategic sense to vote him out.

But, last night, that’s exactly what happened.

The Gondol Tribe went to Tribal Council for a second time and, at first, it looked like poor Julia was going to be voted out.  But once again, Peter proved himself to be his own worse enemy.  First off, he openly considered betraying Joe and Aubry.  Then he talked about doing so at Tribal.  And, as usual, Peter managed to talk himself into a corner.

And this time, it finally came back to bite him on the ass.  Basketcase Aubry heard that Peter was looking to get rid of her and joined with Scot, Tae, and Julia and voted Peter off.  It was literally a last minute decision.  It was so last minute that Aubry originally wrote down Julia’s name before then drawing a line through it and instead voting for Peter.

Peter is gone, which is great for the Beauty Tribe though it probably won’t work out well for Aubry.  Next week, the two tribes are going to merge and it’ll be interesting to see if anyone’s going to be willing to trust Aubry.  Will Aubry be able to get back into her old alliance or will she end up at the bottom of a new alliance?  Is Aubry destined to be the Cochran of this season?

With Peter gone and the merge approaching, here’s who is left in the game:

Basketcase Aubry (Brains)

Empty-headed Joe (Brains)

Michele (Beauty)

Cydney (Brawn)

Bowtie Neal (Brains)

Nick (Beauty)

Scot (Brawn)

Julia (Beauty)

Adorable Tai (Beauty)

Stinky Jason (Brawn)

Witchy Debbie (Brain)

That’s 4 from the Brains, 4 From the Beauty, and 3 members of Brawn.  Personally, I would love to see the Brain and Beauty Tribes team up to pick off the Brawn people one-by-one.  The sooner Stinky Jason leaves the better!

I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Have a great weekend!

Lisa Marie

Survivor 32 Episode 5 “The Devils We Know”

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I hope everyone wearing green from head to toe and is planning on dancing all night.  If you’re not — well, I guess that’s okay.  If you don’t have any plans for this most glorious of holidays, you can always spend some time thinking about last night’s episode of Survivor.

Though, to be honest, there’s really not much to think about.  After all the drama of last week, it’s not surprising that the The Devils We Know turned out to be a little anti-climatic.  Last night was pretty much a filler episode of Survivor.  There was really no surprise about who got voted out and it’s debatable how much anything we saw last night is going to really effect the end of the game.

That’s the nature of Survivor.  Not every elimination can be shocking.

Personally, I was sorry to see Anna go because I know what it’s like to be judged and stereotyped based on your physical appearance.  As I read some of the comments that were made about her on twitter (One guy leered, “Who will go home tonight?  Tits or Tai?”), I found myself almost praying that Tai would play his immunity idol and that he, Scot, and Anna would manage to turn the entire game upside down.  It would have been great and I would have loved to see one of those boring, arrogant Brain people go home.

But, in the end, Tai didn’t.  And again, I can’t blame him.  In the game of Survivor, fire may represent life but the immunity idol represents resurrection.  You want to hold on to that immunity idol for as long as possible and you certainly don’t want to give it away to someone else early in the game.  That’s just good strategy.

Anyway, the big news from last night’s episode is that we finally reached the tribal shakeup.  Because of Caleb’s unexpected exit, they went into the shakeup with an odd number of players.  As a result, when they drew buffs to determine their new tribes, six survivors pulled a Chan Loh buff, six survivor pulled a Gondol buff, and one survivor pulled a red buff and was exiled to Brawn Beach.

And that exiled survivor was Julia from the Beauty Tribe.  She spent almost all of tonight’s episode alone at the Brawn camp.  (Bleh!  Brawn camp probably still smells like Jason, too.  Jason doesn’t look very hygienic.)  Since she was in exile, she didn’t have to compete for immunity and was safe from the vote.  Next week, she will replace Anna on the new Gondol tribe.

Poor Julia

Here’s the two new tribes:

Chan Loh:

Witchy Debbie (former Brains)

Eccentric Neal (former Brains)

Cydney (former Brawn)

Stinky Jason (former Brawn)

Michele (former Beauty)

Nick (former Beauty)

Gondol:

Basket Case Aubry (former Brains)

Stupid Joe (former Brains)

Wannabe Peter (former Brains)

Anna (former Beauty, voted out at Tribal Council)

Adorable Tai (former Beauty)

Idiot Manchild Scot (former Brawn)

Julia (former Beauty, replaced Anna after Tribal Council)

(Sorry, not everyone’s earned a nickname as of yet.)

The tribal shake up did break up (at least temporarily) several small alliances.  Joe and Debbie are now on separate tribes,  Stinky Jason and Idiot Manchild Scot are on separate tribes.  And new alliances immediately started to form.  As if Debbie couldn’t be any more unlikable, she immediately started to bond with Jason and Cydney.  Meanwhile, Tai and Scot are working together over on Gondol.

(If I were Tai, I would be scared of Scot accidentally stepping on me, considering that Tai is three feet tall and Scot is like 8’9.  Or something like that.  All I know is Scot is really tall.)

When the Gondol Tribe lost immunity, it was obvious that either Tai or Anna was going to go home.  With Julia set to join after Tribal Council, the former Brains people realized that the only way to keep their majority in the new tribe was to vote out another former member of the Beauty Tribe.  Foolishly, they viewed Anna as a bigger threat and, let’s just be honest, I’m sure some jealousy played into it as well.  When your tribe is dominated by two socially awkward men and an insecure basket case like Aubry, it’s not surprising that Anna would be the target.

If Tai had used his idol to keep Anna safe, then wannabe Peter would have been voted out and, after Peter launched into another one of his “I control the tribe” monologues at tribal council, I thought it might happen.  But Tai held onto his idol and Anna was voted out.

(I swear, the Brain Tribe people are so boring.  And the Brawn Tribe was so ugly.  How can you not be Team Beauty?)

Your latest former Survivor, Anna

Anyway, that was last night’s episode.  Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

Sláinte Mhaith!

Lisa Marie